Making friends as an adult can sometimes be daunting, especially when you have relocated to another country all on your own. One of my roommates has found this to be a particular problem since leaving home for the first time and living thousands of miles from the only life she has ever known. That backbone of people who have always been there are suddenly, well not, and that can be hard to be confronted with.
We can’t just rely on our coworkers to become friends and most people already have their lives set up that they don’t need to add another to the list for celebrations and getaways. It can be hard to move past the shallow conversations of “what do you do?” to “let’s hang out.” Another friend of mine recently admitted that sometimes life really feels like it’s all on her shoulders, that at the end of the day she is very aware of this and whether I felt this way.
Something I readily admitted I do, but at the same time is not something that crosses my mind. Connecting with people is truly about asking questions they cannot simply say yes or no to. It has to go beyond that and means they begin to have more meaningful things to say then simply what they do for a job or how they will spend their weekend.
Maybe it’s because I’m so adept with my lifestyle at picking up friends wherever I go that this isn’t something that bothers me. If I don’t make friends at my job I know I have enough here and elsewhere to keep me busy and my life full. How do you find making friends as an adult? Do you feel the same as my roommate and friend?
A way to make friends is over food and whilst plums are virtually out of season now, there were some being sold at the market last weekend so I picked them up and made this clafoutis which is a great treat for a weekend brunch if you are tempted.
Adapted from Julia Child via Bite from the Past
4 tablespoons coconut oil
6 plums, pitted, halved and thinly sliced into 6 slices per half
1 1/4 cups milk
1/2 cup superfine/caster sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Preheat the oven to 180°C/350F.
Place the milk, sugar, eggs, extract, salt, flour and nutmeg into a blender and whisk for approximately 1 minute until combined and bubbly.
Heat two tablespoons of the coconut oil in a frying pan on medium heat and add half the sliced plums to the pan, stirring to coat in the oil. Cook for 2 minutes on either side until softened slightly. Remove and continue with the remaining coconut oil and plums and set aside to cool.
Pour into the baking dish, just enough to cover the base and place in the oven for approximately 5 minutes or until a thin crust has formed.
Remove and lay the plums around the outside of the dish evenly and then into the center, layering as you go. Even out and pour over the remaining sugar. Add in the remaining mixture and return to the oven for approximately an hour or until golden on top.
Remove and allow to cool slightly.